Need advice: Did anyone not have any plans/birth plans or took classes in preparation of the labor/delivery and post delivery? I just feel like not doing anything… zero motivation.

My pregnancy account got shadow banned for some reason out of nowhere few days ago, so I am posting on my other account 😔😔😔

Background:

My father recently passed away. I had to take 2 weeks off (took additional 1 week off due to my father being in ICU; so a total of 3 weeks). Before he passed, I would try to visit him every weekend since his condition worsened since few months ago (he was located 400+ miles away). I originally took 2 weeks off due to really bad morning sickness, constant throwing up/nausea and all the not so wanted symptoms. Then additional 1 week off to stay with him longer while he was in ICU. The long drive, morning sickness, and grieving to what’s to come was a lot to process.

My husband’s friend and my friend wanted to help with the baby shower but I (we) have decided to cancel that (e.g., just exhausted from grieving and everything to process and too much to plan).

To the main point:

I am currently about 21 weeks ish into my pregnancy. This is my first baby / first pregnancy experience.

I have read some or many stories where people had a “birth plan” and took classes but plans changed due to emergency or whatever circumstances; their birth plan was not followed due to variety of reasons. While others have not taken birth courses/classes or even had a birth plan, and their pregnancy was just fine.

My husband thinks we should both attend the baby classes or birth/labor classes provided by Kaiser so that we both can be a bit more prepared/expect what to come. My husband is a planner and I’m more of a spontaneous/ go with the flow.

The thing is, I’m exhausted from trying to plan the baby shower with our friends (but it’s now canceled because it was stressing me out badly), still grieving over my dad who just passed recently, and work stress.

I honestly don’t want to (mostly don’t have the motivation right now) to take any classes. I don’t really have a birth plan since I feel like everything is going to go out the window when the time comes. I just want to minimize my pain and will request for an epidural. That’s my only birth plan; epidural please lol.

How bad is it for first time mom to just kind of go in raw - no plan, no courses, or do the hospital tour? I feel like my hospital and its staff is well equipped to handle it and guide me during the process.

I have watched some educational videos and watched some unmediated / medicated birth, epidural process, etc. but that’s about it (also reading some Reddit and forum posts about pregnancy and labor).

I do want to take some courses but at the same time, I just don’t have the energy/ motivation to sign up and follow through. I may change my mind or be better mentally/emotionally during my 3rd trimester but right now, I am in the mood for just go in without any preparation.

Thoughts? Advice?