Crush at work

I know. I know. :'( but I'm starting to obsess its been months. I'm kind of ugly, awkward, dumb I'm not confident at all I could ever land a guy special as he is but I can't even hide that I like him anymore. I'm constantly staring, and any chance I've gotten to talk to him I get nervous and say really dumb shit and struggle to make eye contact because it so intense for me. Sometimes I catch him staring and we end up in the same place same time a lot, but I don't think he likes he me. If he did he would have already ya know. I didn't want a relationship rn but I decided that I want to be close to him even just as friends even though it terrifies me to be close to someone. How do I get past nervousness, stop being awkward and staring at him from afar all the time? As a women, I think I'm coming off as a little creepy and obsessive, ugh I want it to stop. Please help.