My [34M] ex [33F] has lived with me for 1yr post-breakup. How do I handle her moving out to be fair to her, as well as to myself?

I'll try to keep this as short and clear as possible, but drama is drama. Happy to answer further questions to give context as needed.

My ex is a really good person, but she deals with pretty significant mental health issues, chronic physical health issues, and some really severe trauma throughout her life that she hasn't dealt with. After we broke up last year she ended up in a pretty bad living situation, and once we got back in touch after being no contact for a while, I offered to help her move out, and said she could stay with me for as long as she needed to get her feet on the ground. She moved into a room in my house, and we got along so well that we decided as long as we were both ok with it, we'd stay roommates.

This was a year ago, and now things are needing to come to a proper close. I still have feelings for her, she say she feels the same, but that she can't hold me back while she figures her shit out. We started acting like a couple over the last year, making meals together, movie nights, dinners that feel like date nights, and not correcting people who refer to us as partners, etc., just no title, and nothing physical. I really thought we were heading back into a relationship, and that it was just a matter of time, but after we got back from separate trips this summer the vibes shifted. We talked, she said she needs to focus on herself and stop avoiding her trauma which she can't do while dating or sort-of-dating, and that I need to go find someone who's ready for a relationship and not make all of my life plans revolve around her.
We said we'd touch base about the living situation, which has been pretty amazing and not something either of us have wanted to part with. Like this woman and I go on walks about the neighbourhood admiring people's shrubbery like we've been together for 50 years. The connection we have is really sublime and has been a highlight of my life that has brought the best out of me. I'm a better man for knowing her than I ever thought I'd be. But things have really backslid to some of the patterns we had when we dated. So we decided to call it off for good, with heavy hearts.

Our old patterns for her look like a lot of codependency, focusing on the other person and ignoring herself, and similar + a lot of caretaking for me (which is easy to fall into when the person you love has a lot of ailments, my cultural background also = feeding people). Since she got back she has been spending more time with the friends she's neglected over the years. Lately she has been crashing on people's couches for a few nights in a row, and she hasn't been the best about keeping in touch about that despite me asking her to let me know what her plans are and when she's coming back. I've been cheated on in ways that mirror this situation and just go into freeze/panic mode when this stuff happens, and I'm too old, too tired, and have too much on my plate to be experiencing mood volatility over something as silly as what my ex is up to. My ex doesn't deserve having to report her movements to her landlord/roommate/best friend/ex who is still in love with her, and I don't deserve to feel like I can't relax for days at a time. It's messy, we're not in our 20s anymore, this needs to end.

So I brought up that us living together is making it impossible for me to move on, and we agreed she needs to move out. She has been living rent free and pitching for utilities. Her financial situation is dire, she started a university degree later in life and has struggled with keeping up with the work despite being an excrutiatingly smart and academically gifted person, which has affected her student loans. She's looking at moving in with some friends, or back with her sketchy abusive family while she finishes up her degree, and I'm all rattled by guilt and horror that I'm putting my emotional wellbeing in front of her housing situation, despite us being fully-grown adults who can live with our own choices. Looking back it's clear her trauma is in the driver's seat, and as much as I've tried to make fetch happen there's no amount of safe I can be for her to face her own wounds. I would love for some miracle to occur where we can find each other again down the line and have a good life together, but that isn't gonna happen if we can't live our own lives and be our own people.

If you've made it this far, thank you. If you have any advice on how to handle the circumstances or feelings around this to reduce mutual damage, that would be so appreciated. I have a lot of respect and appreciation for this woman, and I want us to be able to separate our lives as cleanly as possible. I also don't want to keep putting myself second - hell I've forgotten what putting myself first even feels like at this point.
Yes I am in therapy, I have friends and family, they all think this needed to end yesterday. I hate walking around my house feeling knifed in the stomach every time I think about how her stuff will be gone & how we won't be sitting down to watch HBO with a beautiful dinner we cooked together again. SOS.