Suicidal dreams?

8 weeks postpartum with a preterm baby that's has been home from the NICU for 3 weeks.

Last night, in one of my tiny hour sleep windows I get, I dreamt about committing suicide. It was so incredibly vivid and real, that I thought I actually did it. I said my goodbyes, I felt the deep hole of despair that comes with actually commiting suicide that I think pushes people over to the action. It all felt so very real. I couldn't breathe and I couldn't stop it.

I woke up to having a full blown panic attack at 5 am and haven't felt okay since. I can't shake the feeling the dream left with me, and feel so utterly lost that I don't have control over my own brain. The intrusive thoughts are horrible.

Has this happened to anyone before?