They say new moms loose themselves in motherhood.

Not me. Noooooo. Could never be ME?! Yeah, reality check it happened. I made a really big deal about not loosing myself in motherhood while I was pregnant. I told myself it would be harder and it would difficult but I wouldn’t stop doing things for me. And in my own way I’ve adjusted~ reading books on my kindle and taking little target shopping trips or coffee dates w the baby as my “me time.”

Reality is that there is no “me time.” If you don’t have family nearby or a village. It’s just me and my husband figuring out this new season of life. He works incredibly long hours and helps where he can. And the areas he could help with like nap or bed time, my daughter is so attached to me that he can’t settle her to give me a break. As a SAHM it’s my responsibility to care for our daughter, cook dinner, clean the house etc. Don’t get me wrong I love being a mom and I’m grateful for the privilege to be at home w my baby.

But prior to being a mom I was an artist. I taught painting classes and did pop up events selling my art. And took a pottery class for fun. I don’t have this expectation that I can paint everyday. But I walk by my easel daily and always say “tomorrow.” And ‘tomorrow’ ends up being the next tomorrow and the next. I don’t have time for myself to sit and paint for a bit. And when I do try to make time for myself without fail the baby ends up crying or wakes from her nap. It’s constantly interrupted. Or by the time I do have “time” I’m so exhausted that I have nothing left to give to anyone let alone the canvas.

Motherhood is hard. I love my baby, being a mom, and simultaneously miss doing things for myself. Thanks for coming to my Ted Talk.