I don’t know if the problem is me with my mom and I’s relationship

I feel really conflicted about this entire situation and I want to keep it as vague as possible. I also want to try to remain as neutral as possible because I genuinely don’t know.

My mom and I just opened a small business. I want to keep it brief but basically it’s an outdoor business with outdoor searing and the actual business aspect is in a food truck. We had gotten into a fight about this situation and my mom refuses to talk to me about it and said I need to just take it up with an adult, or Reddit, so here I am. I would also like to mention I’m in high school and many of our employees are too.

Our business is brand new, we started it in the beginning of summer 2025 and everything was going okay, but it was overwhelming. We didn’t get much business because we were just starting about. We have two people on staff for each shift.

During the end of the summer, my boyfriend started working with us and many of my friends also were working too. I wanted us to have a fun and comfortable environment especially because it was many teens’ first jobs. Our busiest time of the year was during the summer and we are going to be closing for the season at the end of September because we aren’t getting much business (since we are mainly a summer thing).

Two days ago my boyfriend was working a shift with one of my friend’s best friends that I didn’t know very well. I wanted to hangout with my boyfriend and I also wanted to get to know the other girl too. Before I had gone, I asked my mom if it was alright if I went to hangout with them and she was okay with it. We got about 2-3 customers during the 5 hours we were open so mainly all we did was talk. I ended up spending the entire shift with them, but I wasn’t paid or anything, I just liked being there because it was my family’s business and I wanted to see my friends. I initially told my mom I would head back at sundown but decided to stay and help them close because it’s a rather tedious task. When I told my mom this, she was very upset and claimed that I was taking away from their job that they were actually being paid for. I had not actually done much at all, I had gotten a bucket of soapy water. They had started the closing process way before we had actually closed (which I didn’t really know about), mainly things like dishes. By the time we were actually closed as a business they had already finished closing. I truly did not do much but my mom had said that she was there to earn an income and I don’t know if she didn’t want me there. I remember asking her lightly or talking about it and she didn’t seem bothered at all. During the whole time I was there we were talking and having a good time. She was doing her own thing to pass the time.

I thought that the response was strange and left it at that but then my mom had brought it up again this morning (Thursday) and she said that it was incredibly unprofessional that I had done that and wrong. I didn’t really get it because nobody seemed unhappy and I wasn’t bothering anybody. Because this was a new business there were some things in the past we were still figuring out and I had said something about how there were times she was not being professional either and I was not sure why it mattered what I had did.

During the summer she often sent me down to go work for a bit or to just talk to customers/just be around the business but that was never an issue. I did not mean to back talk to her but I was confused. She said that I was being shitty and generally shitty person. She said my actions weren’t that I was a bad person but they were still wrong. She dropped me off at school sarcastically saying “nice talking to you” and all I could think about all day was that conversation. I wasn’t thinking straight during the school day. In the middle of the day I apologize to her for being grumpy and she appreciated it. After school was over, I wanted to visit my boyfriend and my friend at the business again and she seemed okay with it for an hour. I told my boyfriend what happened and he’s really upset about how she was treating me so I went to ask my mom about the situation again because I could barely remember what happened. She said I was lashing out at her and when I said I was upset it felt like she twisted the story and said she should be the one upset.

She said that my friend was uncomfortable there I was there but I was confused because I have no reason to think she was upset. My boyfriend asked her about it and she said everything was fine. I felt bad that I had dragged her into the situation and tried to apologize. My mom explained that there was a time she was uncomfortable when she was at work because her boss had his wife there all the time and she wasn’t even an employee. She says this (in text):

“Anytime that employees are hanging about when it is not their shift is suspect. It’s nice for employees who are not working to pop over and maybe spend an hour or so, but not be there all the time. That is the status quo. That is how it should be.

Here are some specific reasons… Employees who are not on shift or not covered by workers comp yet they’re in or around the truck

The people who are working, cannot escape them. Might feel awkward speaking to them or telling them to leave.

Owners or part owners of the company who are hanging around, but not working also put the staff members in an awkward position. Even if they like the person.

In my particular case, the wife of my boss was pretty much there for the entire 40 hours of the work week. She did a lot of work too that technically should have been my work, which means that we had to have discussions about our differences and opinions on how the work was done and how I interacted with her husband . She was not a paid employee.

As a separate note, I came to the conclusion that the entire reason she was there was because her husband had once straight and she wanted to keep an eye on him. A hypothesis that was confirmed by another coworker.

Anyway, it’s just weird for someone who is in a position of power, namely, someone who is a partial owner of the company to force themselves onto people who have to be there. Also, I don’t want to take away their work because that’s what they’re getting paid to do and any less work that they do they don’t get paid for “

I understand where she is coming from but I was not in anyone’s way and I was not distracting or interfering with their performances. We barely had any people stop by and we were passing the time. She did say my boyfriend and I were in positions of power, which I can understand. We are a small and family owned business and we are all very close. She either makes me out to be a part owner or an employee. I wanted to talk more because I was confused and she said when I say I’m confused I mean I want to change her opinion. I genuinely don’t understand because it felt like she drastically snapped. I asked her to go down the business on Tuesday. I always made sure to ask. She never told me when I had to be back. She said the fact I was there for so long was wrong.

I tried to ask again in person instead mf texting her and she refused to talk about it anymore. She said that if I had been her actual employee she would have fired me for what I did because it was unprofessional and she would have especially kicked me out because I was talking back and being disrespectful.

I’m mostly upset about her tone in all of this. She can be very harsh and she never seems r realize when she is hurting me. Whenever I mention I’m upset she manages to find a way to say her actions were justified. I remember one time I had genuinely been rude to her/wrong by saying I told you so about a small problem and misunderstanding . She told me she was so upset about what I said and she was genuinely offended and she was incredibly hurt. I tried apologizing and she never accepted it until I went to extremes. Whenever I try to tell her she has done something to hurt my feelings it feels like she dismisses it and justifies her actions and belittles mine.

I don’t know what to do and I’m very sorry this was so long