Trying to improve stops me from improving

Every time I'm on a hobby, project or just something that requires process, when I start and advance by myself it feels okay, I can keep going. When it's been a while and I feel I can improve even more, I start digging in many sources and... Find I'm actually way behind. Like, it took me months to get to a 5km run without stopping or improving in a foreign language. It always looks like the benchmarks and stuff that is deemed average and unimpressive is still over what I get with my effort. It always discourages me as it just looks I'm not made for it, but at this rate, it just looks I'm no made for anything at all. Everyone says you've got to ask for help but asking for help always feels like admitting I can't do stuff by myself. I don't even remember being abused as a child, it feels like something I made up and that makes it embarrassing to talk about. I'm stuck in a loop.