I (23M) am feeling heartbroken after a short but intense connection with a girl I met abroad (23F), how do i navigate this situation?

Hi everyone, I really need some perspective on a situation that’s been weighing on me.

About a month and a half ago, I met a girl in Thailand. She lives in the Netherlands, roughly 3.5 hours away from me by car (I live in Belgium). From the start, we connected intensely—messaging and calling almost every day. Early on, she told me that she prefers to take things slowly and that when situations become very intense, it can feel overwhelming. We both knew this would be tricky because long-distance meant that any in-person meetings would be longer periods together.

A few weeks after meeting in Thailand we were both back in Europe, we had our first date in Ghent, Belgium. We spent 24 hours together, slept over, and everything felt amazing.

After that, she worked for a few days and then went on a holiday to France with friends. While in France, we spoke via FaceTime, and our conversations felt positive and engaging. She mentioned that she felt like she might have been falling in love with me and said she would feel really sad if things wouldn’t work out between us. Her parents and friends also already knew about me at that point.

On her return, her friends dropped her off in Brussels, and she came directly to see me. She stayed four days, during which we shared many intimate moments, played games, and had deep conversations. I felt that the weekend was very meaningful and that our connection was strong. On the last day of her visit, she cried and said that things had become overwhelming. I felt a sudden emotional shift, and after she left, our messages became less frequent and harder to navigate.

A couple of days later, I called to talk. She explained that she thought it was not going to work out, and I experienced a mix of confusion and heartbreak during that conversation. I found it very hard to express my emotions fully because I was overwhelmed. The weekend had gone from feeling amazing and deeply connected to sudden emotional change in less than 24 hours.

During the call, I perceived a sense of distance. She said that sometimes when things get too close too fast, she suddenly loses all interest and that it had happened in the past. She said that she adored the 2 first days of the weekend but that the 3rd day was emotionally already a bit heavy for her but she still enjoyed it very much. But then the last day it was just too much too soon and she was emotionaly overwhelmed. She thinks this is why she suddenly lost her interest and she was not sure wether it would come back. She said she still wanted to let me come to her but she didn’t want to make me feel like she was leading me on because she wasn’t sure wether her interest would be sparked again. She than said she would find it weird not to hear from me anymore all of a sudden, on which i just replied “me too” since i couldn’t get much words out at the time. I asked her if she was sure about this decision, which she was not, but since i couldn’t get words out i just said goodbye.

Some context about her: she’s never had serious long-term relationships aside from a three-month one as a teenager. She has intentionally stayed single to enjoy her freedom. In past experiences, she has been cautious in romantic connections. She also mentioned that she dislikes public displays of affection, though privately she was affectionate.

Since that weekend, I’ve noticed more online activity from her side than usual. She posts on social media regularly, including content related to her hobbies (which is also a small memory for me since i gave her gifts in regards of that hobby), and keeps me in her private story. Observing this has been difficult for me, and it triggers a mix of emotions that I am trying to process. I’m struggling to make sense of the rapid change from the intensity of the weekend to the current situation. I feel heartbroken, confused, and emotionally overwhelmed. I haven’t opened myself up emotionally in years, and this connection felt very meaningful and unique.

My main questions for advice:

1. How can I make sense of rapid changes in emotional closeness after an intense, short-lived connection?
2. How can I process my feelings when reminders of this connection appear, such as memories or online activity?
3. After giving space, what is the healthiest way to decide whether to reconnect or focus on moving forward?
4. How can I navigate hope, heartbreak, and the intensity of my emotions after a brief but meaningful connection?

I feel heartbroken, confused, and keep replaying the weekend in my mind. I am struggling to reconcile the intensity of my emotions with the sudden shift in the situation. Any insights, similar experiences, or advice on coping with this type of emotional experience would be greatly appreciated.

TL;DR: I met a girl abroad, and we had a very intense connection. We spent meaningful time together, but after a weekend visit, communication became harder, and I felt heartbroken and confused. Observing reminders of the connection online triggers mixed emotions. How can I process my feelings and navigate moving forward after a brief but very meaningful connection?