[Walpurgis] - ONE: Small Talk

A ball rolls again and again, one doesn't know where the movement started, perhaps on the breasts of the mother or even before that. As the first conceivable impact lingers on, so does the shadow it cast sustain the web of movement that follows. Every figure is no more than the lingering trace of a movement that has already ceased, says Joseph; so the very words I am writing are only the pen's lingering trace of the movement of my hand.

Witches exist in a similar conundrum...

"Marschallin." said Meister Egon.

"Are you prepared?"

He wore a simplistic black uniform that went down to his thighs, with long almost cape like sleeves, and a belt and chain adorned with ceremonial sigils signifying his rank. He didn't wear the grand mantle his status entitled him to. I wondered if he did not feel cold, considering the weather. Perhaps Meisters were not subject to the seasons.

"I am."

"You're aware of how I feel about your ordainment?"

For a witch to be born, the aether must 'crown and miter' an extraordinary individual after their death. The dull ones, or the mad ones, don't become witches, they wash away with the waves without the ability to hold on. It is the stubborn resistance of the chosen few against nature.

"I am."

"Good."

I was carrying a large scepter, completely covered in bandages. It did have a lofty title owing to its importance but Meister Egon only ever called it 'the scepter' leaving it no dignity but the one its use enshrined. We continued walking towards the domain, winter's cold embraced us. The city seemed almost spirited away at this hour and for a moment I felt as though Meister Egon and I were the only two people inhabiting this world.

"Meister Egon." I called out to the figure beside me.

"Don't call me that."

"Meister." I called out this time, and looked straight at him.

He averted my gaze, choosing to look away instead.

The Meister seemed a little annoyed but I felt no ill will, which made me want to push my luck.

"Meister!" I called out again.

He stopped walking at once, his head turned and he matched my gaze. We looked at eachother for a moment, his face was as pale as ever.

"You know I don't like honorifics."

For a second I considered whether I should continue with 'Doctor' but decided against it, as we both turned our attention back towards our destination.

"What type of domain do you think it is?"

"Provenance would be nice." I answered.

And as the early dawn stretched across the night's dominion, I walked towards what could always be my death. And I felt Egon's breath making itself visible through winter's spell, telling me that I am not alone in this world.

The witch's domain was just in sight beyond the various empty buildings dotted across the borough.

A grand dome of aether, the masterpiece of an artist unable to paint throughout their entire life. One that can neither let go of nor live with their plight, holding onto the thorn set in the flesh, simulteanously cursing and worshipping it. Might-have-been, No-more, Too-late, and Farewell. That is the life of a witch, I told myself.

"I would prefer a Heloise style domain. We'd be back by noon. If so I could even finish the report to Amos on time."

Silence took hold. His mention of Meister Amos seemed deliberate to me, considering his general distaste for the man. For a second I wondered whether he wanted me to write the report, and if this was just a subtle way of asking that I'd later chastise myself for not noticing.

"Has Amos ever told you the story of the camel rider?" he continued.

"The camel rider?"

"Yes. Amos used to be quite fond of the story."

"I don't think I've ever heard it, no."

"Alright, so the story or the idea rather is of a man on top of a camel in the middle of the desert searching for a well. The camel rider is dying of thirst, having been without water for what now feels like a lifetime. So he steers the camel towards the well, if I remember correctly he might have had a map, or it might have just been his instincts, but he has an idea of the well's location. And the camel goes on and on day and night and day again, but the well is still nowhere to be seen."

Meister Egon stopped for just a moment, perhaps to recall the story once more before continuing.

"And then another hour passes, the camel rider still cannot find the well despite knowing where it is supposed to be. He first curses the world that left him thirsty, he then curses the world that brought him to the desert, and then finally he curses himself for being a man lost in a desert dying of thirst. And in his despair, he looks up at the ever present sun illuminating the desert for answers, though very shortly he is unable to keep staring, his eyes unsteady, now only look toward his incoming death.

Meister Egon stopped again, this time he seemed to be in thought for a little longer.

"I have to admit that I don't quite remember all the details from the way Amos used to tell it. So I'd advise you to ask him to recount you the story properly once you see him again. But from what I remember the camel rider then at one point realizes, and I'm struggling to remember how, but he realizes that he was never really in control of the camel throughout his journey up until that point. That the camel largely determined the path rather than the rider who believed he was steering it. So the rider mistook the camel's movement for his own and simply rode the camel to wherever it randomly led him, believing himself to be in charge. But now the issue is that I can't recall whether his point was for the rider to take charge of the camel by whatever means possible, or rather to accept that the moody camel will by a great extent go where it pleases."

"There was more to it as well. But that's the part that found a way to linger on in my mind."

I thought of the story for a while, considering Meister Amos' disposition I had a hunch as to why he would tell Meister Egon a story like this.

But the witch's domain drew near, this was possibly the worst time to be discussing Meister Amos' parable.

I was almost in awe of Meister Egon's carefree attitude.

"I like it" I finally said.

"It reminds me of something I've been thinking about as well." I continued.

"What is it?" he said.

And then it happened.

Now that we were at the precipice of her domain the aether emanating from the witch finally found its way toward me.

It crawled across my skin burrowing itself into my pores, a dreadful angst overtook my entire being. I broke out in a cold sweat as the sensation started suffocating me.

My breathing got heavier and heavier, and as the nausea got worse I felt as though I was being killed from the inside.

I grasped the scepter in my hands as tightly as I could, but it provided no relief.

I glanced at the man beside me trying to hide my pitiful state from him.

He looked at me with what seemed to me an ambiguous expression. I couldn't tell whether he was disappointed, displeased or merely indifferent. For a moment he seemed to contemplate something I was unable to comprehend.

Finally he crossed the distance between the two of us, his hand touched my shoulder, and the witch's aether dispersed at once.

I took a big breath.

And despite my best efforts tears started welling up in my eyes. An abhorrent shame dawned on me, I felt embarassed, I wanted to say something about what had just happened, I wanted to say something about my ordainment, I did not know what to say but I just wished to say something.

Egon looked me in the eyes, we were still standing within a hair's breadth of eachother, I could feel his breath directly on my skin now. Yet the gulf between the two of us had never felt wider to me.

"Are you alright?" he said to me.

"Would you like to head back?" he continued.

Still no words could escape my lips, but I shook my head indicating that I wanted to continue.

The thought of being left behind was atrocious.

"I'll give you some time to compose yourself."

I took a deep breath as Egon walked to the gate.

What was the point of being afraid now?

Egon's palm touched the gate, his eyes were closed.

"It's a gallery type domain." he finally said.