My sex life feels so restrictive

My wife (45F) and I (46M) have been married for 15 years. I’m not sure how it happened along the way but our sex life has become very restrictive, at least in my eyes. I always thought that we’d explore new things as our relationship progressed, but it feels like the opposite. It feels like as time goes on, we’re not trying new things. Instead, activities we had done before come off the menu.

We do have sex pretty regularly, about twice a week, but it always follows the same pattern. I don’t feel like sex with me is something she craves. She certainly doesn’t crave my touch. I haven’t given her an orgasm in 8 years. I have to ask her to go down on her, she’ll never ask me to. And I can never finger her or rub her clit. The rare times that I do, I don’t get the sense that she enjoys it at all. I just want to feel like I can pleasure my wife and I feel like she won’t let me. I don’t think I’m completely inept. Before we were married, I could get girls to orgasm. I could even bring my wife to orgasm.

On top of all that, our sex never feels “uninhibited.” It feels like her mind is somewhere else and there are so many hang ups about sex acts. I can very rarely finger her. She’ll never let me in her mouth after my dick has been inside her. She doesn’t want me to cum on her face or anywhere on her body. When I do cum inside her, she won’t let me see it. She covers up and runs to bathroom immediately.

I have so many unfulfilled desires and the weight of them is piling up. We are in couples therapy, and are making progress. But progress is so slow. And I’m afraid some of these things will never change.