So I’m at a cross roads. And well I need outside counsel:

I did use ai to correct edit and make it flow. So you wouldn’t loose your mind in my writing misgivings please help me make my choice

I come from a very religious and conservative background — the kind of community where door-knocking and strict traditions are the norm. Leaving that isn’t an option for me, because despite everything, my faith has helped me more than anything else in my life.

That said, I have a narcissistic parent, and my gut instinct is to run 2,000–3,000 miles away and never look back. Both my siblings have settled down and own property nearby, but I want to be far away — just quiet, alone, with space to heal, figure myself out, and process my life.

I’m neurodivergent (ASD), and I’ve been displaced from my religious community. I honestly don’t know what I did wrong — and I don’t think I ever will. That uncertainty eats at me, and it’s one of the reasons I feel so stuck and isolated.

There’s also a girl I love, and I have a meaningful gift I want to give her. But because of my situation with the religion and how things ended, I don’t know if I can — or should — give it to her. I’ve thought about just dropping it off at her dad’s house anonymously.

Now I’m at a crossroads: • Do I run far away and start over? • Do I stay, try to work it out, and find a way to keep my parent out of my life? • Do I give the gift or just leave it in the past?

Any advice or perspective would help. I feel lost.

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TLDR: From a strict religious background that I still value, but I have a narcissistic parent and feel the need to escape. I’ve been displaced from my religious community and don’t understand why. I want peace and space to figure out who I am. I also want to give a meaningful gift to someone I love, but I don’t know if I should. Should I run, stay and set boundaries, or just let it all go?