Struggling with thoughts I don’t know are transgender-related (mtf)

I’ve been questioning my gender for a long time ranging from more alarming thoughts as a child like “she’s so pretty I want to be her” to less directly feminine related thoughts such as “i feel gross when I see myself with body hair”

So I’m going to list a few reoccurring thoughts / and or things about myself (which I feel conflict with common symptoms of gender dysphoria) I have and hopefully get some opinions :)

For:

• I don’t like to be called “handsome”, it actively upsets me - I like to be “pretty” or “beautiful”

• Wearing feminine underwear makes my day to day easier (It doesnt have to be underwear FOR women but Lacey boxers are a good example)

• Little to no libido when I see myself as a man

• When I put on women’s clothes that don’t fit me or look wrong it makes me feel sick like a poser of some kind

• Sometimes when I feel ugly with makeup on I wonder if other people are thinking that I look like I’m pretending to be a woman

Against:

• I like my body as is having a flat chest and male genitals doesnt / has never bothered me. If I could change something I would have a more curvy shape but to be honest I don’t think that has anything to do with dysphoria

• I don’t know if I’d be trans in a vacuum

As a bonus point, as I am writing this post, I am on my work break. I always sit beneath this church archway outside of where all the shops are and some kids (mockingly, obviously) said “Excuse me uhhhh whatever you are can I have a light”.

I don’t know if they were making fun of that fact that I have long hair or they actually couldn’t tell but I think I have quite an androgynous face so i was just kind of stressing over whether they couldnt tell or if I look, again, like I’m pretending to be a woman

I think a lot of my doubts come down to the fact that I lot of the dysphoria(?) I feel is based on societies expectations of a woman rather than the inner feeling of knowing that I was not born a woman. Pls help!!!!

Also I’m a programmer