Today my grief is profound

My Q (39M) isn't in my (36F) life anymore aside from when we see each other at work. Detangling myself from him personally was the healthiest thing I could do but sometimes I still grieve for the person I used to know. I found a group photo the other day and seeing us smiling next to each other....it wrecked me knowing I'll never have that person in my life again. Even at work, we don't speak (he told me he maintains distance so he's not tempted to reach out when he's drunk because according to him, I deserve to be treated better than that). That hurts too sometimes because he'll be friendly and laugh with everyone else but remain cold and distant to me.

I know I'm happier and healthier for the distance. But some days like today, I feel the loss so acutely. It's a terrible ache knowing that I'm going to be ok but not because things will work out the way I want them to but because I've had to learn to let go and live with that loss.