idk what to do

ok this is kinda long so bare with me please. me and my gf (f24 and f27) been together for almost 4 years we live together we have a dog. we have our standard issues but we’re both committed to growing together and getting married. about 2 years ago my gf’s mom moved across the country for a job at a new company, for context up until that point her and my gf had worked together at the previous company. Now her mom had been a high level exec at both companies and once she was settled in called and offered my gf a job, full time, higher pay (to match cost of living as we would be leaving a major city down south to another major city on the west coast) and the company would pay all moving expenses including any fees for breaking our lease. My gf told her mom she would consider the offer and at first was had decided to expect it but after talking to a trusted friend decided not to take it as her and her mom have a complicated relationship and this was truly her first time being completely independent of her mother, i was supportive of the choice and we discussed my gf taking night classes or something in spare time to make her better candidate for the kind of jobs she was more interested in, this was early 2024.

Fast forward to now and my gf never enrolled in those classes, and the company she was working for shut down and laid everyone off. mind you it has only been a month but with the US job market being the way it is who knows how long it would be before she found another job. she has had some leads but again they are in the industry she’s been working in and not the one she WANTS to work in? today her mom called again letting her know that offer is still on the table, this is probably the 4th time in the last year her mom has offered this job to her. and my gf still refuses to accept it. she is hell bent that she is gonna get a job she wants, again with no leads, no industry ties, or recent relevant experience. I am tired, she is stubborn and believes she knows best in this situation. she has only been out of work for a month and she was our breadwinner and still continues to pay the majority of our expenses as she got a nice severance and has an inheritance, so i try not to say to much bc even with the pay increase i got from my job before she was let go it is still less than what she was making.

I am giving her time to figure this out, but something to her understand is that she is very stubborn. she wants things done her way bc she believes that is the best way. i truly believe that when it comes to certain things she doesn’t value my opinion bc she doesn’t take me seriously, and not just me but also her mom. my gf has control issues to the point where she heavily researches most decisions and that’s fine when it comes to buying running shoes or a new mattress, but she uses the logic that bc she has researched something that neither me or her mom could possibly have anything to add that she doesn’t already know bc we haven’t done the research. In her mind things are also very black and white, if X happens then I HAVE TO DO Y no other way around it. So when i tell her to consider taking the job bc what is the other option bc running through her savings im told i just don’t get it and that me and her mom aren’t listening to what she wants.

its frustrating bc if the shoe was on the other foot which it has been before my gf would not be ok with me just not working, and turning now job offers bc it’s not my “dream job” before we moved in together i was working a job i hated and was living at home and considering quitting while i looked for something else. we had a very long conversation about how ppl work jobs they hate all the time but they do it bc that’s what being an adult is and if i couldn’t mature and get my shit together then we would have to break up. so i did just that and about a month later i had multiple job offers for something new. well now im at that point for her, yes she has the money to support us while she’s out of work but that only takes her so far. up until this point we have lived very comfortable spoiled lives the way you should in your 20s. I’m ready to take steps and i’m doing what she has asked of me to show her i’m ready but now there’s a new fork in the road. I dont want us to be in our 30s when it time to settle down and we’re both working two jobs to just barely get by. i’m at the point now where i have maybe 6 months before im ready to throw the towel in. I have to be the one who matures, but not her? I hate for this to be the reason things end but at the end of the day even when i was working 3 jobs so that i could contribute monthly, i was still coming home and cooking and cleaning. anything to show that im not doing what i want but im doing what i can. she doesn’t do that without me asking, i think shes in a funk and im hoping it will change. but we now spend so much time angry at each other and i feel like im not being taken seriously im just kinda over it. I work a job i hate, so why can’t she? by her logic it would seem that we both should be able to just not work bc why would anyone work a job they hate?

please any guidance on what to do, how to approach this conversation would be greatly appreciated bc i just don’t know anymore. i feel her mom thinks im the reason she’s not wanting to accept the job when i have been the only person in her gfs life telling her take it since day 1. ik my gf is depressed about everything going on, but i feel given her complicated relationship with her mom if i reach out to her that may put our already shaky relationship in serious trouble. what would you do?