A favor for Atlanta 09/09

I'm just going to be honest and tell you all that I don't know how to start what I'm about to say. It is only at my therapist's insistence that I make an attempt that I am posting here. I'll just say what I'm trying to do and if you want to read the "why this matters to me", I'll post it below.

Is there anyone here (affiliated with the band, venue... I'm not sure who I'm targeting exactly) that can get something signed for me by Robin Finck?

Why this matters to me:

I've typed this and erased this many times because I think I just sound pathetic, but here it goes, I guess:

I was recently asked to describe the happiest memory in my life that did not involve my wife/children that could be distinctly considered "mine". That memory takes place on January 22, 2002, and involves my cousin. The internet was still in its infancy, but my cousin and I had been awaiting this day for months. This is the release day of "And All That Could Have Been" on DVD. I wasn't old enough to drive, but my cousin had a clapped-out Geo Tracker, and we used it to be the only people waiting for Best Buy to open to grab a copy. We took the DVD to our grandparents because they were out of town and they had one of those dangerously large, 1000lb big screen TVs and the only DVD player we had access to. We watched that DVD three times. Growing up we were never in a financial position to see NIN live, so this was the closest we would come for years, and it blew our minds. Specifically, I remember watching The Great Below and thinking I would never see anything greater and that this was the pinnacle of technology. This is the moment that we both decided that we needed to learn guitar and join a band. That never really panned out, but my grandfather would eventually find us guitars at a yard sale, and we at least accomplished the guitarist part. My cousin was way better than me and had played other instruments, so he spent a lot of time teaching me fundamentals. However, we spent most of our time learning songs from our favorite bands using tabs. NIN was the one group that connected our varying musical tastes and also the group we played together the most. No matter what I've learned or what I've played through the years I still hold the opinion that Robin's performance on AATCHB is my favorite live performance and probably won't be topped. Robin Finck's guitar style dominated our progression as guitarists for over 20 years. We both have bought/sold/traded Les Pauls, Pedals, Amps and other equipment attempting to chase that sound and probably recapture that day. We planned to see NIN live together in the future and when Finck was announced on the line up in 2008's Lights In The Sky tour we tried everything to get there. Ultimately, my wife and I were able to go due to winning an e-bay listing for super cheap tickets. Since there were only two tickets, we went (he would not take the ticket) and I brought him back a shirt. It seems like life was constantly fucking with us for every tour after that and we never made it.

Last year, my cousin shot himself.

I've never been the type of person who has a large friend group and beyond my wife/kids and two other people I have no one. Most people don't even know I play guitar because I'm extremely private and don't share. In fact, the only people who had heard me play guitar were my wife and him. We used to talk daily. We exchanged things we made/played, tones we created, beats and every other aspect of our lives and now that part of me has been violently stolen. My cousin's suicide has been the worst thing to ever happen to me, and I've been through some real shit (that's not a brag, I'm a first responder and have had to see and do some horrible things). I don't know what to tell you about this part of my life other than to say that I am not fine. I am a huge NIN fan and for the first year I had to remove my posters and vinyl from my guitar room because the fucking sight of them would cause me to break down and I'm still just as fucked up as I was the day I got the call that he shot himself. Still, that one day... If there is a heaven, then mine will have the morning we watched AATCHB for the first time and some sort of time lapsed cut of the effect Finck's playing had on our interest in guitar. I have gained weight and basically become an insulated recluse over the past year. In an effort to break this cycle one of my friends invited me to lunch a month ago and I agreed. At this lunch he gifted me two tickets to the Atlanta show this week. I am both extremely excited (grateful to my friend) and also saddened to be going, but this will be my oldest sons first concert, and he is ecstatic. He is aware of how this will likely be an emotional event for me. At any rate this will be my second and likely final time seeing NIN live.

So, I would like to try and see if I could get something signed by Robin to add to my collection (I mean, getting the whole band would be awesome, but I am aware that this in itself is a monumental task and as much as I love NIN/TR this is what matters the most to me). I realize that I am asking a lot and acknowledge that I don't have cancer, am not dying or facing any other circumstance that people usually have that request this sort of thing. I'm not asking to meet the Finck or the band and don't want any special treatment, but if there is anyone here that I could maybe drop off something (I have the aforementioned copy of AATCHB) to be signed, can you please help make this happen?

People are shit and I can provide proof (privately) of what I've said here. Or maybe I'm just too fucking paranoid, I don't know.

Thank you.