Ex said she wants to be friends but feels like she's not bothered! But there's more to it and it's driving me crazy!

My ex(29f) and I(31m) went out for a year. At the begining of the relationiship she said he was going to move abroad but we really liked each other and thought why not just make the most of our time and keep it light and date for a while. Six months in she told me she loves me, I said it back because I felt it too. Then she asked me to meet her mom, I was just happy that she wanted me in her life. Met her mom and it was great. We opened up to each other and shared a lot of feelings we didn't think we would. But I alsways felt like I was the least important person in her life. She would often pencil me into her calender, after everyone else in her life. I though I would slowly climb up the ladder but I never did. Instead we slowly started moving apart. We broke up almost two months before she said she was leaving. Initially I said I didn't want to be friends, it hurt too much even tho I knew our relationship had come to an end. I changed my mind really quick and said let's do it. It's been 2 months since and I'm the only one who initiates the chats. Her replies are unchararistically very short and feels like she's not bothered. Haven't spoken to her in a month. I've been going out with other people but still wake up upset even angry sometimes at the fact that she didn't even let me know when she left. I knew the week she was leaveing but not the date. She didn't want to mention the date. My birthday just passed and she didn't even bother wishing me. I think she hasn't bothered to remember it.

My question is, I'm I being super needy and just need to forget her? Also, she's still under the assumption that we're friends, I want nothing to do with her. Should I message her and say how I'm feeling or should I just forget about it. I keep thinking she's going to text one day and that drives me crazy. I have friends I can talk about it too but I don't want them to think I'm crazy.

I've already snapped at someone at work a month ago and getting angry with myself and drinking every day. I don't have control over myself.

So do I just man up or do I still need closure? I'm just confused, I want to tell her that I feel like she's lied to me, our whole relationship feels like a lie. Springing that on her, don't know if that's the right thing to do now that she's abroad