Is it better for an Indian woman to marry a foreigner for freedom and a different life, or choose love within her own culture despite traditional expectations if the partner is supportive ?

I grew up in India in a restrictive environment where I was judged by family and relatives for my choices, desire for freedom, and outspoken nature. Being dark-skinned added to the criticism, and I often felt I had to pretend to be a “good girl” to deserve love. The harsh words, occasional beatings, and suffocating family expectations made me resent the way women were controlled and conditionally loved.

While I didn’t face major barriers in education or career, I fantasized about marrying a modern or foreign man and building a life abroad where I could be free to pursue my interests. But my introverted and sensitive nature, along with starting this thought process in my late 30s, made me doubt my ability to adjust and fear loneliness. At the same time, I enjoyed some freedoms as a working woman in an Indian metro city, which made it harder to leave.

Now, I’m engaged to an Indian man who is loving, respectful, and emotionally stable. He never makes me feel like I have to prove myself, and his simplicity balances my tendency to overthink. I feel I could also support him in dealing with his own past struggles. However, he comes from a traditional family with expectations—owning a home, having children, caring for parents—that mirror the very cultural pressures I once resented. Meeting his family has left me anxious about being trapped again in the same environment, despite loving him.

I wonder if I made a mistake choosing this relationship instead of pursuing the freer life I once dreamed of abroad. Would I have been happier if I had escaped this culture?