Battling Mom Bod

Long story short, I’m a mom of 2 struggling with body image. Idk if this needs a TW or not but I’ll be mentioning diet and exercise. I’ll try to keep weights and measurements to a minimum.

Im 2 months postpartum and have been fitting back into my pre-pregnancy jeans since 1 month postpartum. That should feel awesome right? But then I remembered, after my first pregnancy I went up a size in jeans. I’m still in that size. I’d like to get back down a size or maybe two.

I saw myself yesterday in the mirror wearing jeans and a bra, as I was taking off my jewelry at the end of the day. I was disgusted by her. She was fat and gross.

My husband though? He’s doing and saying all the wonderful things that you’d want a husband to say. He’s proud of my body, the weight and the stretch marks. He says watching me be a mom is the sexiest thing he’s ever seen. I feel like the compliments just bounce off me. I wish I could take them to heart.

So do something about it, right? Ive started doing little 5 minute workouts every day, but that’s not gonna impact my weight. And in the past, when ive tried counting calories and working out, it’s just ended up with me feeling…edgy? Angry? For some reason, the more active I am, the worse my mood generally becomes. At least that’s the pattern I’ve seen…maybe I don’t keep at it long enough…

Anyway, idk. My children are my life’s work. I love them so so much. But…I’m not proud of the body that made them.