I don’t trust compliments from guys anymore

I don’t want to seem cynical, especially at my age, but I can’t help but to double check when a guy claims to be attracted to me. My mind goes to “oh, he doesn’t really like me he only wants me for my body or to sleep with me.” Because I know how boys would treat me when I was a kid. I used to over eat to comfort myself with how my early childhood was. I was very overweight back then and did not look “pleasant”. I got made fun of for being fat and unattractive. The words stung and I felt disgusted with myself, and i developed another ed. Like I wasn’t even double digits and I would punish myself for eating too much by skipping meals and throwing away food when my mom left the kitchen. I ended up losing a drastic amount of weight and my parents thought I was sick. But I felt so happy that I was finally skinny. I lied obviously, they never knew all this. So now I’m in my teenage years and I’m much healthier now, I still have a complicated with my body image and food, but I think I’m ok with how I look.

But now the same guys who said horrible things about me (not just my classmates back then but even adults making fun of my weight/body), have started complimenting me and my looks. Guys in general notice me a lot now. And I hate it. A part of me is like “would you say the same thing if I wasn’t slim?” “Do you actually like my personality or is it manageable because you think I’m attractive?”.

People can be so fake and I always see through the sweet words. I have trust issues with guys who act overly nice and dish out compliments to me when they barely know me. And it’s not the “wow I like your hair or your beautiful smile” compliments, it’s the creepy borderline-sexual ones. And the stares that just make me uncomfortable. I don’t like showing my flaws or how messy my mind is, because I know those same guys would run for the hills if I wasn’t attractive to them. I don’t want to feel like I’m being tolerated by a guy for superficial reasons. At least with girls I know it’s genuine, a lot of girls are straight and have no ulterior motives with their compliments. I know they don’t want to bang or see me in a sexual way, so I’m more comfortable when they talk about my appearance. It just feels more natural.