27 M here: Crashing Out of Life, work and mental peace

I AM SO DONE WITH THIS LIFE. I JUST CANNOT TAKE THIS ANYMORE.

ALL THIS TIME, EVERY DECISION THAT I HAVE EVER TAKEN HAS LEAD ME TO DISAPPOINTMENT, FAILURE AND LEFT ME ON A DEAD END.

AT THE AGE OF 27, I MAKE 27K AS MY SALARY BEING A CONTENT AND COPYWRITER. THOUGHT IT WOULD BE AN AWESOME CAREER CHOICE TO WRITE AND HELP BRANDS BUT I AM NO WHERE CLOSE TO WHAT PEOPLE HAVE ACHIEVED IN THE FIELD AND I CAN NEVER BE THAT GUY BECAUSE I HAVE THE ATTENTION SPAN OF A 5 YEAR OLD. SOMETIMES I WANT THIS, SOMETIMES ITS THE OTHER.

I WANT TO UPSKILL AND GET BETTER BUT I GOT NO CLUE AS TO WHAT I SHOULD LEARN WHICH COULD MAKE MY LIFE ANY BETTER. EVEN IF I ENROLL IN ANY SUCH COURSE, MY 5-YEAR OLD BRAIN WILL GET DISTRACTED AND WILL EVENTUALLY LEAD ME TO NOT FINISHING THE COURSE ON TIME OR WORST, DROP OUT.

I HAVE NEVER BEEN GOOD WITH FINANACES TOO AND I CAN NEVER BECOME FINANCIALLY INDEPENDENT BECAUSE OF MY RECKLESS SPENDING HABITS AND I JUST DO NOT KNOW WHAT TO BUY AND WHAT NOT TO. FORGET ABOUT SPENDING MONEY, I CANNOT EVEN INVEST MONEY FOR MY OWN SELF BECAUSE I AM ALWAYS LEFT WITH NOTHING IN HAND BY THE TIME MY SALARY GETS CREDITED.

I HAVE REALISED THAT I CAN NEVER ATTAIN CLARITY IN LIFE. BE IT CAREER CHOICES, LOVE OR MONEY MATTERS. SLOWLY STARTED GETTING DISTANCED WITH THE WORLD. I DO NOT GO OUT BECAUSE I AM JUST TOO LAZY AND AIMLESS IN LIFE. I DO NOT TRY OUT NEW THINGS BECAUSE OF MY ATTENTION SPAN AND JUST DO THINGS FOR THAT MOMENT ONLY.

I CAN NEVER BE CONSISTENT WITH ANYTHING IN LIFE. TRIED WORKING OUT FOR A MONTH, BUT I GAVE UP BECAUSE I DO NOT FEEL THE URGE TO GET FIT OR FEEL CONFIDENT ABOUT MYSELF WHEN I LOOK IN THE MIRROR.

I HAVE REACHED TO A POINT WHERE I JUST DO NOT WANT TO DECIDE ANYTHING FOR MYSELF. I WISH SOMEONE COULD TAKE CONTROL OF MY WHOLE LIFE AND LEAD ME BECAUSE MY DECISIONS ARE THE WORST AND ALWAYS LEADS TO CHAOS, LAST MOMEMENT CHANGES AND STUCK UP AT A DEAD END.

I AM JUST WALKING WITH NO SOUL, NO AIM, NO DISCIPLINE AND NO CONTROL OF MY LIFE. TROLL ME ALL YOU WANT, DELETE THE POST IF IT DOES NOT ALIGN WITH THE SUBREDDIT'S RULES. I AM JUST DONE WITH EVERYTHING.

TO ANYONE WHO IS READING THIS, IF YOU WANT TO TAKE CONTORL OF MY LIFE AND WANT TO PLAY, I AM ALL OPEN FOR IT. I CANNOT TRUST MY BRAIN, MY INSTICTS, MY CHOICES IN LIFE, MY DECISIONS AND MOST IMPORTANTLY:

"I DO NOT TRUST MYSELF ANYMORE."

P.S: WRITING IN CAPS TO LET GO OF THIS EMOTION AND JUST WANTS TO BE FREE IN MIND.