Stubborn high school senior will not listen to any advice

As most parents of seniors know, everything about the start of this school year feels incredibly high stakes. My daughter has every intention of going to a selective college, but I think her stubbornness is going to stymie all of her plans, and it pains me, like really truly hurts me to think that her current attitude is going to affect her college acceptances.

We paid a great deal of money for an SAT tutor. She did not do any extra work. She decided she would only take the SAT once, despite our advice and the tutor's advice.

We hired a college essay coach to help with proofreading her personal statement. She refuses to take the advice of the coach. She thinks her essay is wonderful and needs no edits. Additionally, college counselors at her school offer free essay workshops. She will not take part in that.

She has access to so many resources to polish her application and make herself shine, but she refuses any and all help because she thinks her first slapdash effort is perfection. I do understand natural consequences here. She will either get accepted to schools or she will not. But I'm incredibly upset that she can't see when something needs to be edited and refined to put her best foot forward.

I also am having an incredibly hard time "letting her fail" when it comes to college acceptances. We live in a community where parents are regularly paying $40k for college application prep and coaching, believe me, I know what the competition is here. Desperate for advice.