HIM equates to LOVE REALIZATIONS

I am sorry if I ended things silently, with no proper communication. I know it was my fault and I apologized sincerely especially to those I ghosted. It's crazy of me to think that telling them I don't want to enter a relationship is my way of ending things. I thought they understood but unfortunately no. After watching the videos on TikTok regarding ghosting in, I cried a lot; knowing I've done it so many times and I only realized it now– it's with JV, he is the reason why I wake up to my cruelty in life. Knowing him for a short period of time had made a significant impact on my life, even taught me lessons. I wonder why I even lose that kind of person in the first place. I have lots of regrets. I should have known him better. I am a coward for not realizing sooner how good a person he is. Maybe I am cursed because I have done this almost my entire life. Yes, I may be scared to commit and not always sincere when talking to them, however, I still think that somehow my actions are a good way to end things. I know I'm blunt and harsh when confronting someone and perhaps I didn't want to hurt them with my words so I chose to leave without an explanation. I believe that NO response or answer is still an answer. After realizing what I've done, I am conflicted about ever entertaining someone again since I already have an idea what it feels like to be ghosted based on the advice online. Should I really try to be vocal this time and avoid what happened in the past? Well, I guess yes I need to make things right and make sure I don't hurt someone anymore. Lesson learned: NO TO GHOSTING! Period.