I did what I was told not to

I searched for close up video of the kirk incident even though everyone told me not to but my curious ass had different plans I thought I've seen everything (tv shows) like the witcher, GOT etc I thought I'd be fine and I watched the video anyways trust me it's nothing like the series and I'm now traumatized I can't eat food without thinking of that and I almost threw up please don't carry this with yourself especially if you're a teen like me ts can haunt you forever