Severe OCD , Depression and struggling to move on after a long term relationship…

Hi everyone, I 25(M) really needed a place to share this because I feel completely exhausted inside. I’ve been living with OCD and depression for almost 10 years, and I’ve been on multiple psychiatric medications during this time. Even though I’ve tried therapy, meds, and lifestyle changes, I still feel mentally drained.

Two years ago, I went through a breakup that I still haven’t been able to move past. We were together for 7 years in a long-distance relationship. I used to travel to her city just to see her, even leaving my home at 5 AM in freezing winters. I gave my everything, and my attachment was very deep.

But one day, out of nowhere, she ended things, saying she just wanted to live alone. It broke me completely. It’s been almost 2 years since the breakup, but the obsessive thoughts and memories don’t stop. I’m currently on 11 psychiatric medications and also in therapy, but honestly, nothing seems to be helping.

I know logically she isn’t coming back, but emotionally I feel trapped even though I’m blocked and no longer part of her life. Even when I try to study, work, or spend time with others, her memories come rushing back and trigger severe anxiety.

Sometimes I even get stuck thinking about her well-being — is she okay is she healthy ,what if something happened to her. I know she’s no longer part of my life but my mind doesn’t let me stop caring and that makes moving on even harder.

Has anyone here gone through something like this where you gave your all for years, but the other person just left? How do you start healing when even meds and therapy aren’t helping?