Life's gone

People. I'm slowly fading. Fading to non-existence. Does it matter? I got no idea. I'm 21 came from India to the UK on a study visa for a better future. Came out to my parents. Got disregarded. Accounts confiscated. Couldn't pay fees. Got deregistered from university. Got death threats. Fucked mental health. Reached to different organisations. No help. One stepped forward. Gave a support letter. Applied asylum. Got rejected. Because they "Think" it's clearly unfounded. Got detained. Hired lawyer with no money. Got some help from fellow detainees. Paid half fees. Lawyer got me out. Now what ? No idea. No hope. Nothing. No place to call home. Should I just unalive myself. Dream of Diplomat in UN. Shattered. People looking like I'm a criminal. Feeling too alone. Lawyer demanding money. Got no money. No right to work. Don't know what to do. Cursed feeling. Why me lgbt. Why God did this to me. Should I be proud? Or Feel cursed. No happiness. No dreams. Hopelessness.

Does it matter? I don't think so. Really.