Being on "Survival Mode" always, has killed my self development, How has it affected you? How did you overcome it?

Having my entire existence be centered around avoiding my narc, I realize I'm in constant survival mode and it's really getting in the way of my growth. As a kid I was abused & neglected, by both my parents. Im 24 now, but my childhood to my early adulthood feels like it was robbed. 20 years of being alone or with 1 or 2 friends that matched my trauma or just people that made me a worst person, because I wanted friends and went to the wrong people. Now that I'm understanding what I've been though and why. Looking at my situation I can't help but feel trapped and betrayed. No matter what I do to develop, I always feel like I'm falling short. Everywhere is too expensive, so I can't move out and either way all my money is spent on doing things that keep me away from being home. My social skills are ok, but trying to make friends has only made me feel more alone. Everyone always tells me "You don't sound like your from here", yet its because I was raised in my house, not my city. Trying to come up with ways to escape, I just feel even more consumed by the anxiety of trying to get out and avoiding my narc. Her being disgusts me and my father is already on no contact. Enough about me though, how did your experience shape you & what have you done that's helped in your situation??