I'm worried about the outcome of an upcoming surgery.

The necessary context is really unpleasant, and I'm sorry for it. CW for organized CSA and pregnancy loss: >!When I was young, I had a medical abortion.!<

I'm having an exploratory laparoscopy tomorrow morning - if there's endometrial tissue in my guts, they're also going to remove it. It's unlikely because the potential endometriosis and adenomyosis was caught relatively early i.e. in the same year my symptoms started, but I'm worried that my uterus will be in a state that I can't have kids biologically.

Being a parent is something I really want. I know in every regard I would not have been ready, but I feel the loss of my baby very intensely. I've had several months to work through the pain after the re-emergence of those memories. But with the upcoming surgery, I've had to admit to myself that I am worried and the emotional flooding today has been intense. I'm not overwhelmed, but the pain is very, very sharp.