AIO-friendship advice-not sure if this will resonate

I have a very close friend who i’ve been friends with for almost a decade. i know this person has narcissistic tendencies (and has admitted it) but it’s almost like her self-awareness has confused me even more. i’ve noticed over time that she makes a lot of backhanded remarks that are disguised as caring about me—from little things like presenting as a normie/having my nails done to making slights about pictures i post with other friends. only the comments are extremely difficult to understand given that she is blunt about most things. we both have ASD and are v “high functioning” so i think for a long time i overlooked these remarks (even though i would never say something similar). i’ve been going through super serious life altering health issues and she rarely if ever asks how i’m feeling and when i do bring it up there’s really no engaging in dialogue about my emotions but rather it seems to make her uncomfortable. she also will literally change the subject in the middle of when i’m talking but only if it’s something i’m super interested in, but will talk soooo much in a way that makes me feel like she believes her thoughts/life is somehow superior maybe? she is an uber trust fund baby and will never have to work to support herself and knows i’m not in the same situation yet will make little comments like do you have hobbies? in such an insidiously condescending way that it really hurts tbh. she’s joked about me being “mentally ill” in response to moments i’ve been vulnerable and needed to vent about something and makes tons of generalizations about “mentally ill” people and i think she is genuinely incapable of believing in people’s good nature. for example i mentioned that i found a new therapist and she immediately started criticizing things he’d said, the fact that he’s a man, implying it won’t work bc of countertransferance etc despite me literally saying how this person is a good fit. she has also made comments about me “getting my life back on track” when projecting certain expectations for me (living in a city, dating, having an active social life) despite the fact that i have a law degree and have been taking a year off to cope w/an MS diagnosis. i don’t know if this will resonate w anyone but after our conversations i feel so drained, lonely, and somehow questioning myself and my life choices despite not actually feeling that way. sometimes i think she hates that i do actually love myself despite having had a pretty difficult life and it feels so isolating to be going through such a difficult time emotionally yet feel like my “best friend” isn’t attuned to how i’m feeling. i don’t feel like she will ever be able to meet my emotional needs bc she can’t just listen and doesn’t build me up/reflect back to me what i love about myself and instead i feel like a project to her sometimes. she also offers unsolicited advice compulsively which makes me feel deeply like she doesn’t respect or trust my own authority over myself. i’m probably doing some repetition compulsion w my Nmom and sister w her but maybe i’m just expecting too much? idk but even when i can’t talk on the phone (bc i literally have a chronic illness) she won’t ask how i’m feeling but will just joke about me “rejecting” her