[30F] It was my birthday and my friend [29F] made me feel unseen — am I being too sensitive?

Hi everyone,

It was my birthday today, and I planned a spin class with a small group of friends (five of us total). One of them texted last minute saying she wasn’t feeling well—she’d had some coffee that made her jittery, puked, but decided to still show up. I told her she didn’t need to push herself, but she came anyway.

The spin class itself was really fun—the instructor gave me shout-outs and played some of my favorite songs. But afterwards, instead of acknowledging the class or my birthday, my friend mostly talked about how awful she felt and joked about it. Later, she was telling another friend about how she had been “yakking” during the ride, which kind of pulled the focus away.

At dinner, she seemed zoned out, on her phone a lot, and not really present. I even said she could leave if she wasn’t feeling well and that I wouldn’t be offended, but she said, “No, I’ll have FOMO. It’s not for you, it’s for me.” That rubbed me the wrong way.

She also started talking about her own birthday plans months from now, joking about how she was already planning a trip while it was my birthday. At one point she forgot I had even agreed to join her trip, which made me feel unseen.

Overall, her energy just felt flat compared to my other friends who were excited and celebratory. I left feeling a little hurt, like I wasn’t acknowledged on my own birthday.

TL;DR: I [29F] felt let down on my birthday because my friend [29F] came even though she was sick, then spent the day talking about herself and not really acknowledging me. Am I being overly sensitive, or is it fair that I felt hurt?