I am getting his thoughts

Nowadays I m thinking about him quite often... 5-6 times in a day... And in those thoughts i think about him returning or me approaching.... But whenever I break NC , it ends up same everytime... He doesn't miss me... He just get the chance of blaming things onto me for one more time.... I never feel that he missed me even a bit... I don't know why he doesn't remember the moments we shared.... Everytime we talk...he is just ready to fight.....