I was rejected by this girl, whom I dearly loved so much that I prayed for her much more than I prayed for myself, even until now. I confessed to her how I felt about her in a church, hoping that God would bless that moment for us, for her to feel safe, as I asked the Lord's permission and guidance to be with her daughter for life.

So the story goes like this. We've been chatting online for roughly two years, sharing stories, frustrations, problems, and dreams of what the future could hold for her or me, and as this future we're trying to envision came clearer, it became clearer that she should be in mine. She's from another city and decided to visit mine, saying she'd like to meet up while she's here. I figured it's a good chance to finally meet in person, so I got myself looking decent and picked out some gifts – hence the picture posted.

It went on for a while, a few dates in a few days, and before going back home (back to her city), we went to a famous church here in my hometown. While we were on our knees praying, the sacred silence of the church veiled us and I confessed my feelings in that moment. And she got quiet, stood up, and left. We headed back to my car, and I figured the date was done. Then she told me she wasn't feeling it, said I didn't seem secure enough with myself, which left me pondering and wondering about myself until now.

It's been nine months, and until now, those words still haunt me, stripping off pieces of the old me until it's deceased.

Now the question is, what does 'security' really mean in a partner? Is it about financial stability, emotional maturity, mental well-being, or something else entirely? I'm curious to know what women or pinays look for nowadays in a partner when it comes to feeling secure. Is there a specific checklist or is it more intangible?

As someone with a stable career and financial security, I've been wondering what the baseline is for a partner if someone like me isn't considered a catch. I've got a good job, my own place, and the means to travel and support loved ones. And having these tangible things is fully driven by passion, curiousity, values, and principles that makes a man and makes his dreams turn into a reality. I'm just curious about what pinays generally look for in a partner these days.

Maybe the fact that I am asking this sub for what it means to be 'secure', points out to the fact that I may not be secured enough. 



The feeling of being secured