I am struggling bad - no food

I sent this to my mom seeking for help:

"Do you understand that I cannot wash my own clothes? The doctors would shout at me for days if I were to tell them that sometimes I am forced to walk more than 1km, sometimes I am forced to sit, stand without bed rest? I am only making my condition worse and risk for serious operations - multiple operations. I run out of pain killers. I live with one sided daily pain that doctors can't even put a finger on for almost 10 years now and I keep getting worse. I have consistent pain from my brain, my skull, heart, lungs all the eay down to my toe ONLY THE LEFT SIDE. I go extended hours without food sometimes, anxiety for police, housebreaking, anything. Emotional trauma fear of being alone, loneliness, not having any friends, lack of security, not knowing what would happen to me if I die today. The depression of not being thete for my kids - I hate that you have no idea. But health wise, financially, mentally angikho right and day by day I want to be a better son and a better parent. But every fucken day is a struggle. I love hot wings soooo much but I last had that I'm sure last year. Angikho shap. I am still grieving, never had a moment to even grieve my biggest loss ever, being attacked left ritht and centre by everyone nje even people that I trusted. Ngapha amaloyo, ngapha depression of being broke, financially dependant on my unemployed mom, you think all lf that sits well with me? I don't even have sense of belonging. You're the only person that I have. And I want to pay the only people that can ever help me if I have an emergency and like this I am ripping apart their trust its deeper than money. But I really need R200 just to buy few food items."