I (37F) recently learned my boyfriend (31M) is frays*xual.

Firstly, I want to note that I acknowledged his discovery of this aspect of his sexuality with his therapist and was as supportive as I could be. I told him I was happy that he was able to unlock a piece to better help him understand himself and not feel like an incorrect person.

We met on a ENM app, of all places. We've never not been in monogamous relationships, but figured we'd give it a try. (We haven't opened the relationship up due to needing to feel more secure together, otherwise we won't survive that.) BUT because of how we met, it was implied (at least to me) that sex was very on the table. It wasn't. We've done it I think 4 times. We've been together 6 months. No passion. Barely any affection. We don't even cuddle much because he doesn't like touch. My mind interprets this as "what's the point?" then I become less attracted to him. He is a great person and I do love him, but I don't know what to do because physical intimacy and sex are important to me.

We are seeing a therapist together as well as therapists separately, but I don't see us working out because I feel I have nothing to look forward to. I don't feel that I have the stamina for all the work this would entail long-term, unfortunately. I already have a pretty bad sexual rejection wound from a previous 10+ year relationship.

I live with my now boyfriend and don't have anywhere else to go. I do not have a support system. I was recently let go from my job and have no more savings. (Can't collect unemployment due to being a 1099.) I found out about the fraysexuality later that same week. ^(FUCK.)

I just moved in June and it feels like a shoe somehow materializes and drops once I finally feel like I have a sense of security. (I don't like a victim mentality, however I'm exhausted.) I've had to move every year for the last four years on top of chronic illness. I never feel settled.

I'm not sure if this is the right sub for this, but it's an extremely challenging, delicate, complicated situation. I don't want either of us to feel wrong for having different needs. But the wind has very much been knocked out of my sails and I'm pretty damn depressed and anxious.

Any resources, advice? Very much appreciated! Thank you.