Always drinking after 3 days?

I keep hitting the little after 3 days even tho it now makes me feel terrible mentally? Ive got bad anxiety well before drinking and can't sit in an AA meeting. Idk what to say or do as shifty as I feel on a bender I eventually just hit the bottle and get some kind of relief? But truly that relief is nothing compared to what it use to be? Drank for a good 10 years now issues until I started getting essentially withdrawal symptoms to take away that crazy ass anxiety and depression and fast heart rate..... I dont even know the answer I have naltrexone which I should have taken it but when I drink I dont take obviously so I can feel some kind of euphoria or relief from my depression and anxiety..... but I tried to get help with anxiety and depression and when those appointments come up I'm usually to drunk or to sick in withdrawal and totally moss them??? Effffff mee!