I posted on here not long ago. I am gonna kill myself.

I posted on here saying how suicidal I am. And that I don't feel like living anymore and you know what. Nothing has changed. I got a therapist. I've talked to friends. I did all the steps to loose weight and made myself look better. I lost as of today 70 pounds. You know what that did. Sweet fuck all. After my long time girlfriend cheated on me and left back in May I have been in fucking agony. I don't want to fucking live anymore. How can someone I loved with my entire being fucking fuck me over like that. I just did my gun safety. Soon as I get my card I'm blowing my fucking brains out. Or I can take all my dad's heart pills. Ether would do the trick.

I'm fucking done trying. I just want this pain to fucking end and I don't want to wait 5 fucking years to see a psychiatrist because Canada healthcare is so fucked.

I'm walking around a park rn trying to find a reason to live and I have only one

One of my friends wants me to be the best man in his wedding. I really want to do that for him. Then it's lights out for me.

But I honestly really don't give a fuck. He's a really good guy he can find another best man. He just feels sorry for me because he knows how useless ugly piece of shit I am.

I'm sorry Anthony if I don't make it to your wedding.

I hurt so much I just want it to end. And I know the world will be better off if a ugly piece of shit like me isn't around any more. I'm 27 and I wanted to die ever since I could remember. And you know what. Little teenage me was right. I really should've killed myself back then. It would've saved me from all this pain im going through now.