Don’t know how to get myself out there again.

24M Uk

I’ve been single for just over 2 years (June 2023) and in that time I haven’t even tried to start seeing anyone again, apart from messaging a girl when I was drunk a few weeks ago that had messaged me a few years ago. However, I remembered why I only spoke to her for a couple of days a few years ago - she’s just very boring it’s like drawing blood out of a stone. When I messaged her recently we agreed to go for a drink but I just stopped messaging as there was just no convo.

Anyway, from the age of 15/16 until the end of my last relationship 2 years ago, I didn’t go more than a month or two without seeing a girl, either a proper relationship or something casual or just flirty/talking stage etc. But not long before my last relationship ended, I started a new job in an office. A lot of my previous relationships/casual things etc were with girls from school or work (used to work in a pub - I’d be friends with colleagues and with the job we had, same as school, one things would lead to another and you’d become more flirty etc). But working in an office is an entirely different environment and it’s just not like that. I also put on quite a bit of weight after my last relationship which caused me to lose a lot of confidence.

I’ve tried hinge/tinder but it’s an endless cycle. I download the apps when I’m drunk and basically just swipe right on everyone without looking. I check the next morning when I remember and without trying to sound shallow or mean the only matches I get are girls that I’m just not attracted to. I do think if I lost weight that may change but even then, I still just don’t have the confidence I used to and just don’t know how to speak to women non-platonically anymore. I obviously have female friends and can make conversation with girls easily but like in a date/romantic etc situation I just feel like I have no idea what to do anymore.

What can I do to get out of this situation? Obviously I know I would gain confidence if I lost some weight but even then I just feel like I can’t carry a date or conversation, but for years it came so easily to me - all respectful and genuine, not like some tactic to sleep with women or anything. I genuinely wanted to see girls properly and could just speak to them without having to think or worry. Now - I’m fine platonically but anything more I just don’t know!

Sorry I know this post has a lot of waffle so thank you if you made it this far lol