4 week reflections

Today is four weeks sober. Four weeks ago I drank vodka which I only used to do 4-5x a year, blacked out (duh), and woke up hungover for what I truly believe was the last time.

The weekends feel so much longer now. A Saturday at 2 p.m. used to mean I was already halfway through a bottle of wine, and the night would disappear in a blink. Now 2 p.m. feels calm and surprising, like I actually get the whole day to do anything I please.

Evenings are different too. I used to get into bed by 9 p.m., drained and foggy even on days I didn’t drink. Now I stay up until 11 watching shows and actually following along. I always said I didn’t like TV, but the truth was I just couldn’t pay attention while drinking.

Physically, the changes are happening. I haven’t thrown up once in four weeks, something that used to happen once or twice a month - why did I consider this normal??? I’m down about ten pounds too. My skin has broken out badly, which I’m hoping is just my body working through the toxins, but I’m ready for that sober glow-up to show.

Most people in my life don’t know yet, other than my spouse. Today we took our kids to the zoo and I noticed parents drinking beer at 10:30 in the morning. A month ago that totally would have been us. I don’t judge them, but I could have gagged at the thought of it today.

This group has been such a big help in getting me here. Reading your stories and knowing I’m not alone has made all the difference.