Why does it feel like everything has to be about lesbians?

Just a genuine question. Even I identify as pan because back then when I had said that I was attracted to trans I was attacked by the lesbian crowd saying I could not be lesbian if I "liked dick" despite me saying I am not attracted to men but if I date an mtf or ftm I couldn't use the term lesbian and had to use sapphic instead even though I'm not attracted to ftm because they are indeed men. Sometimes the community is confusing... and they want to make everything have lesbians even in cartoons or shows and I'm like why? I get that we want visibility but saying things like "don't you think women are better of with other women like with men?" That's going too far.

Even I still don't feel welcome and I'm not talking about this specific channel I'm talking to the community in general. I'm genderfluid and present on the more andro side rather than masc or femme and as I said I just label myself as pan because the fact that my partner is mtf who has not even started hormones and is very much pre-op due to his homophobic family looks like a man still so to ppl he is a man even though they have known since they were a toddler that they are a woman and identifies as lesbian. It sucks when the world wants to dictate your sexuality for you.