need advice to stay denied

In my last dynamic my domme brainwashed me so good. I kept begging her not to let me cum. I even told her that I never ever want to cum again. she made me believe that good girls don’t cum and I was so good for her and didn’t touch my pussy without permission and if I was allowed to, I wouldn’t cum. I was good at controlling myself. but now without a domme I feel so weak and I have no self control. I just keep making myself cum. I even came watching stuff of others edging and staying denied. I need motivation not to touch and to stay denied. good punishments that remind me of my place. I need my cunt to feel neglected and needy 24/7. how do I keep myself from having an orgasm? I need ideas and advice