Office Employee Seeking Remote

TLDR: I work 35 minutes away from HQ performing a job in which I can complete 100% of my tasks 365 days a year from home because of adequate technology & infrastructure. However, I'm required/expected to work FT in the office. I seek advice on how to present a FT remote plan to my employer that will succeed, and also a plan B.

I work a desk job at HQ for a business with a handful of sites in the U.S., which are comprised of production staff, office staff, and some FT remote staff that was mostly absorbed through realignment of old sites or recruited through existing relationships with partners, customers, and competitors.

For over three years, they've required/expected me to work in the office FT, and I want to propose a FT remote plan that gets approved in an everybody-wins, drama-free fashion if possible, but would settle for a mildly insincere strategem.

Hypothetically, I think they would have no problem approving FT remote for me if I had some life event challenge that elicited compassion.

IRL, I'm dealing with several small challenges that I suspect could could amount to a life event unless remote approval intervenes.

What's my plan A and plan B?

My required/expected office attendance is detrimental to my physical & mental health, and working remote increases my personal safety, focus, productivity, & mental fortitude in ways that equal or exceed working on-site.

The supporting detrimental examples are many, and they're complex, but they range from anxiety due to highway travel in an older car, social panic attacks/fainting, and hyper focus, to neglecting diet, exercise, and homelife to the point that a life event seems almost inevitable

IMO, the rational is irrelevant and only exists because my country is filled with insecure, unreasonable tards, drunk on capitalism and all the power it yields upon pragmatic, competent, subordinate people who could actually make them more money while lowering their insurance rates.

It helps the chances a little girl has a more present father, and decreases his chance of ending up as one of the five people per week that succumb to the local interstate in a fiery crash.

I wish I had a bargaining chip like an offer from a remote prospective employer, but truth is I'm not getting any bites from resume sites, and this stupid job was the first to offer me a job after two years of hellish pandemic unemployment five months after becoming a Dad, and that two-year sentence of reduced income & gapped health insurance coverage was dealt by my ex employer who ignored 12 years of literally newsworthy performance (I made the local paper for discovering a half mil felony larceny theft ring) and laid me off the business day after I defiantly requested to WFH March 2020 to protect myself, infant, and her breastfeeding mother whose chronic asthma resulted in specialized medical care during pregnancy because she had to switch inhalers due to possible birth defects linked to her old inhaler, but those birth defects paled in comparison to the catastrophe a 30-seconds-too-long asthma attack that an inferior inhaler could cause, which often results in a permanently brain damaged child requiring a lifetime of specialized care.

I waver from simply asking my doctor for an indefinite medical excuse referral, to being straight up with them and telling them their position on FT remote employees reduces daily & longterm success, while strengthening any competition that embraces flexibility.

I know people whose employers lack any qualms about remote employees due to trust and/or surveillance software, and so how do I present that perspective to Domestic Irrational Insecuritie, Inc. without alienating leadership or the other office employees?

I'm fucking sick I had to spend an hour posting this bullshit quandary to goddamn reddit wtf fml.