I know I'll die alone

Hi, I'm making this post as a way to write my feelings. In the age of nine I moved with my parents and older brother to another country on the other side of the world. At first it was hard and I was missing them all the time, but as time went on I started to feel...alien to them, almost no memories of the rest of my family and when we came to visit them, I felt like that country wasn't my home anymore, so I just thought to myself "when most of these people pass away, I won't have any reason to come here anymore" most of the time I'm miserable and I like it, I help others and love being a good person. And I made peace with that fact...I just don't think it's a big deal if I end up alone