Being alone and constantly lonely isn’t living. I have no one to do things with. I just want to die.

I know the "ups" of life are what you're supposed to look forward to, but I'm so fucking tired of all the downs. Even when my life does get better, its only for a brief moment before everything goes to shit again. I'm sick of it. I'm sick constantly fighting just to make through another month, year, or day. I'm sick of trying to convince myself that life is worth it, that my life hasn't been a series of constant humiliation and degradation.

I hate myself more than anything. And even though I have people in my life who I can talk to, I find myself having to choose between trusting people (who have always disappointed me one way or another) or keeping everything to myself and letting my emotions eat me alive.