How to let a good date just be a good date?

I’m 29M and have been actively dating now for almost 2 years. And despite having one 3 month long relationship, a few fun situationships, I find myself having trouble progressing things naturally after the first date.

I started talking to a boy last week, and we both were very attracted to one another and sent some spicy snaps. A few days ago it cooled off a bit, but we went on a date this morning and it was great, we got along, he was very attractive, and the conversation was natural. We ended with a hug and both said we enjoyed meeting each other. I wanted to kiss him, but when I’ve ended the date with a kiss in the past it sometimes puts too much pressure on things from the start.

I’m in good shape, tend to match with a good number of guys, but after I start to have a crush on someone especially after a date, I get so in my head about when I’m going to see them next. I’m trying to practice sitting in uncertainty as my therapist says, but it’s so damn hard when I don’t know when I’m gonna talk to them again.

I guess what I’m learning is people communicate differently and want different things. I tend to ask what people are looking for before going on a date to make sure we’re aligned. If I’m asked this I usually say I’m just looking to see if we vibe and go from there, but at the end of the day I want a real relationship. I know I just need to let things ride sometimes, but even just a confirmation that “I want to see you again” would ease my anxiety. I just thought this time since we were both into each other and the date went well that he’d want to meet up again.

Maybe I’m just not what he’s looking for rn, and I get that but I’d rather someone be upfront with me after the date rather than just being nice and keep the conversation going to spare my feelings. So any advice on just letting a good date be a good date without any further expectations?