34 [M4F] #online my prejac kink is getting real

Since no sex life got replaced by jerking off on reddit, substituting for a sex life, my premature ejaculation kink kinda went off the rails. Up to a point it's been easy brushing certain things off as play and pulling my ego out of whatever emasculating, humiliating and absolutely sexually exhilerating situation I've found myself in on here. But recently I'm finding that the sillyness of cnc has a way of going away when things start to feel like they turned real. Having happily pavloved myself into only ever being a needy lil sub online for the past few years seems like it's left a mark. Who knew? Is it still playing if I can't even help myself? I can barely even imagine a sexual context without pathetic being my vibe anymore and I don't know that I want to. I want to be pathetic. Being able to cum on command has always been a source of blushing pride for me, but now I'm wondering what it means that I don't know if I could hold back even if I really tried.

Major kinks of mine are Femdom, in general and so many flavors, small penis humiliation, and cuckolding. I also really like to just talk, and got no issue doing that without my dick in my hand, so if you're just up for a chat, I'd be happy to talk to any and every woman here, especially if you're mean, curious and or funny. Ps not a virgin.