Is it buried feelings?

Sorry if my English is inaccurate. Since I’m 8 years old there’s a guy that became my bsf rlly quickly and we started playing Roblox everyday together calling each other buying each other stuff always talking and hanging out when we could with the same interest and we basically grew up together until we had to leave for junior high and got separated from not being in the school. Tbh I loved him since day one and apparently him too he admit it later that he loved me younger until he left. But when high school come he came at the same one as me and now it’s just kinda awkward cuz we know we’re both here but too embarrassed to talk to each other. I rlly wanna talk to him and know if he still loves me (Absolutely not) cuz I feel something towards him and idk if it’s love or just buried feelings. I fell I’m not enough for him now since he changed and became “attractive” in a physical sense but I love him for him being my childhood friend. I want him to remember me and hang out like back then but were teenagers not child anymore. I’m not pretty enough for him and a lot of girls came to ask him his social media. I just feel like he’s not interested by me in any way other than “just an old friend”. One morning at 9am I came to talk with him and he was just embarrassed not even dared to look at me and just pull out his phone like he’s trying to avoid me. Idk anymore it’s annoying tbh.