AITA for cancelling the plan of going to my relatives funeral last minute?

So, I live across the whole OCEAN from my home country where my grandpa’s sister is actively dying atm.

My father wanted to go for her last days there and also attend the funeral. She is his aunt..I at the beginning didnt say I wanted to go too. I said Id help the family financially.

However, today, as she got REALLY REALLY bad already, my ADHD related spontaneity made me say that I would also go. and also told my family there that Id go with my dad.

But deep down, after some hours went by, I realised that I dont want to go. I am not that close to that woman. And have almost zero emotional connection. She didnt even remember my name today, while she even made jokes talking with my dad. I dont serve as a family advisor/supporter either because whatever medically correct advice I give them over the phone, no one is listening anyway and are watching her die at home. Which made me angry. A LOT.

Though I spoke with her on the phone anyway today while she was conscious for 5 minutes and told her I loved her even tho she didnt even recognize me I think. And I will pray for her.

So after speaking with my husband, he supported me and said that I shoudlnt go if I dont feel like it. He also has ADHD and knows how spontaneous we can be and then regret it.

Finally we told my dad that I decided to stay to take care of my husband and our 6 pets while he works hard but we would make a big financial contribution to help the family instead of me spending thousands on the tickets.

He said its fine, but I feel that he is a bit upset.. Rightfully so… But on my end im in therapy atm and work on exactly this with my therapist to respect my decisions, even if I change them and not to do things I dont want to do from my heart with the fear of what others will think. Tho as an adult woman I realise that sometimes you gotta show up..anyway.

Am I that asshole? :(