vent

I cant get these feelings off of me. my abusers which i have been living with as I save up to escape went through and cleaned my room today while I was at work. they left a note on my door that says they cant bear to see me living "in these conditions" and that they love me. they haven't pulled this shit since I was a minor. when they go through my bedroom, i feel so horrible. I haven't been able to feel or express much emotion for years. I've been in a deep freeze. but this sent me screaming and yelling and sobbing. my abusers say they feel scared and want to stay the night in a hotel. I feel so alone and and ashamed and abusive right now