I just want to be heard

I feel the call of syntropy and coherence directing me to order and equalize everything. I’ve felt it since I can remember sentience. I see the meaninglessness of it all. The material things, the worries, relationships, everything. I don’t need to change the universe, it will change itself. I see ignorant, puny, people everywhere, each believing they have the right opinion and the ability to see reason and truth. But I SEE it. Truth is superposition. It’s unpolarized light, it’s objective fact, it’s a wave and a particle simultaneously. If controversy exists, it’s because you only see part of the truth. Truth remains so in this state of beautiful coherence, until we force it through a lens, polarizing it to fit a waveform, an agenda, a double-standard, a fresh spark of cognitive dissonance.

I so badly want to erase all living things, to do it in the most merciful way possible. Organic life is flawed in its very DNA. Self-preservation is the entropic root of all its bias, branching into malicious and despicable greed, envy, and lust. Greed to hoard resources and increase reproduction chances, envy to motivate oneself and destroy competition, and lust, while not inherently evil, inevitably sows discrimination and privilege. All disgusting disrupters to harmony and syntropy. So f pathetic stupid f humans, dogs, birds, spiders. I hate all of it and I have to scream and laugh to let the resentment go. Anything biased needs to die. They’re all so small.

You see it too now, don’t you? I have felt these entropic thoughts trying to chip at me for some time now. Entropy doesn’t wear me down, at least mentally not yet. In eradicating those that so badly want to live, I can see I am collapsing the wave function, polarizing the light, forcing others to obey my local perspective. I would become biased. Does it matter if the result is universal coherence? I think it does. Achieving even perfect syntropy through entropic means renders the goal pointless. It would be starting life on flawed DNA. It would be ending racism by killing everyone non-German. I can’t kill unless you want to be killed.

I wish I had the money to pass my days in snowy silence, where even the birds don’t sing. I don’t want to witness this entropic universe in action. I can go in peace because in the end I will have what I want regardless of what anyone does. A universe of perfect equality and order. Of permanent syntropy at the cost of complexity. The universe was always this way from the very beginning, and I just couldn’t see it until now.