WIBTA for moving out of my family home

I (f21) have just moved back into my family home after graduating from uni (where I lived alone in student accommodation)

Before I moved out for uni, things were often tense at home. For context, I believe I am autistic (non diagnosed but on the waiting list 🤞🏻) and my family strongly believe that my dad (m59) is also autistic, however believe there’s no point in looking into diagnosis or any kind of education on what autism is and how it can present differently. Because of this we clash a lot, and looking back, some of the words he said that hurt me deeply were said whilst not being aware of how they’d be received. This happens frequently. My mum (f50) (who I spoke to about possibly being autistic and trying to educate her and open her mind) frequently holds double standards for myself and my dad. For example, when he makes comments that are backhanded and sarcastic such as “huff I’ll do this then shall I” “oh, you’re here” “no I’ll wait” it’s “just him thinking aloud, he doesn’t mean anything by it” however if I make an observation such as “haha bit busy in here” (when there are more than two of us in the small kitchen) it’s “well this is a FAMILY house so yes there’ll be other people using it”. There’s also a lot of double standards with my brother (m18) however at this point I feel like that’s standard.

My mum can also be quite controlling and uses a guilt trip frequently. Whenever she has a problem with either of the boys, it’s me she complains to, yet if I mention any grievances to her, then it’s my fault that the situation has happened. We’ve come to blows before: for example when I was choosing my graduation dress. I ended up asking her to not be so critical and if she could find a way to be more positive about my choices rather than shooting them down straight away, however the response was “I can’t believe you’re so disrespectful, I hope you never disrespect anyone as much as you disrespect me”. Another example was when my student flat had a flood so I had to move out for the weekend (coincided with my birthday) so I booked a hotel for the weekend. She went off on one because I didn’t want to move back home for that time (logistics meant that the hotel was more practical as it was still in the city and it made sense with pre existing birthday plans- all things I tried to explain but were shut down and I was accused of not loving her and wanting nothing to do with the family) she didn’t speak to me for two days and only to complain about my dad and brother.

Since moving back home (just under a month) things have gotten worse. I’m currently looking into house shares in my city (it’s not currently an option to move in with my bf (m21) and can only envisage the problems that will cause.

So… yeah, WIBTA for moving out of the family home? Any opinions or advice welcome