AIO for getting upset and my coworker for kissing my friend after she said no

hey so it was my(21F) birthday yesterday. i had a brunch which later lead to bar hopping in the city, had invited a few of my coworkers as we are pretty close one of my coworkers (not using real names) jane (F19) i have just recently become close with and Tom (M31). For context one of my other coworkers Bella (F21) has recently moved in with tom as friends. Tom is a super popular guy at work he is outgoing, talkative and good at his job he is also known to have a quite feminine personality so he is close to a lot of the women in our work place, we’ve been quite close since he started and i considered him a close friend, however he recently told me he has a crush on jane and how she reciprocated those same feelings i felt a bit uncomfortable with this because of the age gap but he assured me it was only going to be a professional relationship. fast forward to the night of my birthday we were all drinking and having a good time when jane came up to me and told me he had kissed her i asked her what happen and she explained he had ask her to go on a walk, jane could feel that he was about to make a move so she was saying things like let’s not and we should go back, after that he kissed her. when jane was explaining it to me i could she was getting upset she told me that she never like him and just said she did to spear his feelings, she was blaming herself for leading him on. i said that it’s not her fault at all and saying ‘let’s not’ even though not a direct no is still a no and he should know better because he is 10 years older then her and also one of her managers. just before i had found out about this i has also pulled him aside and talked to him about being overly flirty touchy with my friends and making comments about me, he has something about my boobs which i don’t remember what is was, but it was earlier on in the night which my partner kurt had asked him not to talked about me like that. After talking to jane, me and kurt were pretty upset. kurt thought it would be best if he asked him to leave which he did end up doing after about 30 mins. i told jane we should talk to our head manager and that it’s not okay for him to do that, she was pretty emotional and didn’t want me to say anything because she didn’t want to cause any drama. after tom left i was talking to bella and she thought it was a bit harsh to ask him to leave, she was trying to stand up for him a bit saying he isn’t good with social cues as he is on the autism spectrum slightly. everything had happened so fast and we were drinking so i don’t think she really understood the full story. tom messaged me the next day apologies and said he didn’t understand why he was asked to leave. i explained i was disappointed in the way he acted and didn’t think if was fair as he is older and her manager. The way he responded made it out like they were both consenting to the kiss, so he is either playing dumb or really doesn’t understand what was going on. i feel a bit bad now even though i don’t think i was in the wrong, jane has talked to him and was very nice about the whole thing which i think also doesn’t help him understand but i know she doesn’t want to start any drama. i’m a bit worried to go back to work because i know tom gossips a lot and i wouldn’t want there to be stories about me or jane getting misconstrued. kurt thinks he uses the fact that he has a very feminine personality as a way to get away with sexualising women and being very handys with them because they feel safe around him, i don’t really know if that is true but i could definitely see that, kurt also pointed out the fact the people he is close to at work are all the young girls so yeah